Snow and the Olympics

So it snowed more than ever this weekend. It snuck up on me - I didn't even realize it was going to snow until Friday evening and then I didn't believe it on Saturday. I thought it might snow 5 or 6 inches. Its so heavy outside, there is no difference between the ramps and surfaces outside right now. I haven't been outside yet, I wonder how bad it is. I hope to be up early tomorrow, to get to the gym and to get to my office. It's gonna suck.

ABC Family had their movies on today. Awesome! See Jane Date is one of my favorites, I love that Charisma Carpenter gained weight and she still gets roles in Hollywood (does ABC Family count as Hollywood?). I love the idea of finding someone special: but there is no one for me right now. Isn't that horrible? I wish I had someone but I have no one. All right that's not entirely true, I have someone who I used to date still in my life. I ended it and he's pursued me ever since. I don't think I'm keeping him around for vanity reasons: I clearly cut him off the first time around and he was very respectful in the sense that he never let me be. So I reinitiated friendship and was clear (again) that he is not the guy for me. I think he got the picture. So we're friends. Just friends. But friends are not good enough for Valentine's Day. And this Valentine's Day has me down more than ever. My usual thoughts are, oh there's no one there for me on this day. And I'm okay with these thoughts, the one-time sense of them. But I'm loosing patience for being alone. It's not cute, nor charming, nor even singular anymore. It's status quo. I'm beginning to hate the status quo.

I feel very lonely. Which is even sadder than just being lonely because I have good friends and more good friends than in a long time. I'm going down on weight and will soon be 135 pounds again. (I don't look like I'm 147 pounds and I don't think its people being polite since everyone looks geniunely shocked when I tell them my weight.) I need someone to love me and hug me and call me George. Haha, remember Looney Tunes? I'm beginning to get down on the male population of New York City: date me already why don't you? I'm a great gal.

I was having a talk with a friend of mine today: is it helpful to have people bash folk who reject you? And then, does it feel good to hear, ah you're great! Wonderful! Everyone likes you! Not really. Because you probably still like the person who rejected you that's currently being bashed by your friends. And of course you're friends tell you you're great: that's the intristic being of a friend. Or else you'd have cats. When I'm feeling down, I'll start feeling contrary. I realize that doesn't seem natural somehow; the idea of a rebellion when I already feel bad. I guess thats a form of misery loving company. So, then, when someone starts bashing a person I already like, I just want to rebel against popular thought. I'm not inclined to think I'm great - as I was just rejected - so one someone says I deserve better, I don't agree. I think, yeah but he was nice and funny and sweet. And he doesn't like me enough.

I read the book "He's Just Not That Into You." Talk about tough love: I got through the first four chapters before I had to put the book down. Though the authors constantly stress how lovely/smart/witty/good-smelling the reader is, you still wind up thinking of all the relationships where the guy, the other, was just not that into you. And its like death through torture - even some of the relationships that I've ended because the guy started to suck, well the book took away my thunder. Because those guys were already not that into me when it ended. My (mental) thunder had been stolen. Dammit.

US Weekly had a story where the normal 5'5 girl was 120-144 pounds. I've been in the weight range for only three months in my life. But I don't feel overweight right now, I haven't felt overweight in awhile. Is 144 pounds normal? I wish I knew, I want to be 140 pounds by March/June.

Does anyone else think Bob Costas got an eyelift before this Olympics?